First Step to Decision

It's been over a month since we've returned from Uralsk and things are getting easier in some ways yet there's something that continues to hang over us. I can't tell you how many times both Jack and I have been in the middle of something -- an activity, a project or just watching t.v. -- we look at one another and we know what the other is thinking . . . Vika should be here with us. We can't help but wonder -- is she still in the orphanage? Is she with her aunt? Does she need us, does she wish we hadn't left . . . and on & on & on.

On the 3rd of July we did our annual picnic & fireworks -- something we've done for many years. For some reason this is a day that is one of Hailee's absolute favorites - better than Christmas she says! It was very late when we got home and everyone was exhausted -- while Hailee hugged me goodnight she said that she missed Vika and this day was one she had really wanted to "show" her.

We have a lot of knowledge about Bulgaria and about Wisconsin adoptions -- we keep plugging forward to learn all we can, to make an informed decision. Yet it's becoming increasingly difficult to actually make that decision. We want to, more than we can say . . . we just can't. I don't think we can move forward until we have closure -- we need to know what is happening to Vika ...............

So, the first step we've decided to take -- seek closure ...........